Hope and Healing

I recently came to a realization as I turned 30, with two children, a husband, and a family that often looks to me to set the tone. Regrettably, I have become a hopeless person. I once believed that this gave me an ironic sense of positivity—if I didn’t expect things to work out and they did, then it would feel like an even bigger blessing, right? Wrong.

I had a eureka moment: a blessing is a blessing, regardless of my expectations. The difference lies in how I approach life. I have molded my belief system to protect my hopeful self, but isn’t having hope the best part of life? Don’t I want to lead my life with hope and faith that things will work out? I definitely do. I want to set an example of hopefulness, and in doing so, I am healing from my childhood. I believe we all need help with this, so let’s go on this journey together.

Healing the Inner Child

When was the first time I felt hopeful? It’s important to remind ourselves where our hope originates and create a reminder of why it exists in the first place. As children, we are surrounded by people who have the power to shape our outlook on life. Sometimes, that influence is positive, but when a parent is part of the undoing of your confidence, reconciling their role in your life can be confusing. How do you process someone who both builds you up and breaks you down? For me, that contradiction canceled itself out.

So, when was the first time you truly felt like you could do anything, without negativity creeping in or doubt clouding your ideals? Now, with that thought in mind, ask yourself this: when was the last time? When was the last time you daydreamed, yearned for something, or hoped for a good outcome? Not during a time of desperation, but when you were simply happy and hopeful?

Wishing is often dismissed as childish or delusional, but I disagree. I have lived at the opposite end of the spectrum, in a place devoid of hope, and I refuse to accept that perspective any longer. Maybe being a little bit childish and delusional is exactly what I need. Life can be too real, too heavy, too serious all the time. I need some of that wonder back in my life.

Embracing Hopefulness

To me, hopefulness is recognizing the greatness that can happen in life. When you experience true heartache—the loss of loved ones, depression, financial struggles—it’s easy to believe in sorrow. But if we can believe in pain, why can’t we also believe in goodness? There has to be balance.

Believing in Balance

Balance is what we are seeking in all aspects of life. When you are in a dark space, what can save you is the belief that where there is mud, there can also be growth. A seed planted in the dirt can result in a harvest.

To be clear, this is not about romanticizing trauma or ignoring the need for proper healing. Seeking balance is not a distraction; it is a gentle reminder to ourselves. It is easy to become trapped in low moments and believe that one bad experience will lead to a cycle of misfortune. But that is the lie we tell ourselves, especially in states of depression.

The truth is, life is a mixture of joy and sorrow, hope and despair, love and loss. But by choosing to embrace hope, we allow ourselves to see the beauty that still exists. I am learning to believe in that balance, and I hope you will too. Let’s go on this journey together.

Lets heal the inner child first:

When was the first time I felt hopeful? It's important to remind yourself of where your hope comes from and create a reminder of why it's there is the first place. We often forget that when we are children, we're surrounded by people who could have poured positive outlooks into us. It could come from our parents but that's not always guaranteed. Also, when your parent is apart of the undoing of your confidence, it can be hard to mesh those two things together. Having someone who builds you up but also breaks you down can be confusing to reconcile so for me that cancels itself out. No, when was the first time you truly felt like you could do anything for a span of time with no negativity creeping in or doubt being placed on your ideals? Okay, now that we have that thought process in place, now we can think about this, when was the last? The last time you daydreamed, yearned or were hoping for a good outcome. Not when you were in a time of dire need but when you were happy and hoping. Wishing is seen to be childish and delusional but I disagree especially when I have been experiencing the opposite spectrum of being hopeful. Okay maybe I agree with the sentiment but I'd like to be a little bit childish and delusional. I need some of that wonder in my life when things are all too real all of the time.

Hopefulness in my opinion, is realizing the greatness that can happen in life. When you go through true heartache in life... the loss of loved ones, depression, financial struggles, etc. How can we know and believe such sorrow and not in the goodness also? We have to believe in balance.

Believing in balance:

Balance is what we are searching for here in all aspects of life. When you are in a dark space , what can save you is that belief that where there is mud, there can be growth and result in a harvest. To be clear, we are not romanticizing traumatizing times in life when we need to properly heal. Seeking balance is not a distraction but simply a reminder to self. It can be easy to get caught up in your low moments and become stuck in the mental mindset of one horrible occurance opening your mind up to the possibility of that continuing in your life. That is the lie that we tell ourselves specifically when we are in depressive states and we can forget